These days, when it seems like marriages are more likely to end in divorce than last even a few years, it’s heartwarming to hear a story about a couple whose union has truly survived the test of time.
Long-time Webster residents John and Bernadette Stebler are one such couple. On August 28, they celebrated 70 years of marriage, a testament to a commitment they made when they were both barely out of high school.
John and Bernadette met in 1949, when they both lived in Irondequoit and were working at the former Point Pleasant Hotel. Bernadette, just 16 years old, was staying at the hotel and babysitting for her neighbors — the hotel’s owners — while they worked all summer. John, 18 years old, was working odd jobs.
They were immediately smitten. “I spotted her, and I wasn’t going to let that one get away,” John said. Bernadette added, “I thought he was so cute.”
Their first date was pretty romantic. “I owned 50% of a used canoe,” John remembered, and he took his new girlfriend out on Irondequoit Bay one evening. “The bay was quiet then,” John said, but Bernadette still had to be strapped in because she didn’t swim.
Apparently the bay wasn’t calm enough for Bernadette’s boss, however.
She remembered, “The owners of the hotel, my bosses, they had a fit because we went out there in that canoe. It was dark out and there were all these speedboats on the bay and they could have tipped us over. I could have drowned because I couldn’t swim.”
The canoe trip was the first of many dates that would follow over the next few years. Then, in 1952, John was preparing to ship out to serve in the Korean War as a member of the Navy Reserve. But before he left, he gave Bernadette a ring.
“It was a smart move,” he said.
John was discharged two years later, in 1954, and married Bernadette that August, on her 21st birthday, at St. Ambrose Church in Irondequoit.
The young couple lived many more years in Irondequoit, where they raised their son Robert and two foster children, before moving to Webster in 1977. They joined the Knights of Columbus and Holy Trinity Church. John served as an usher, and Bernadette sang in the choir, also participating in two other German choirs, often traveling to Europe for performances.
The Steblers had to sell their Webster home recently, and both now live at St. Ann’s Community at Cherry Ridge. They live in separate buildings, but John makes a point to visit his wife every day. They celebrated their anniversary with a Mass at Cherry Ridge on Aug. 24, and another at Holy Trinity on Aug. 28.
I asked them if they could share any of their secrets for a long marriage.
“I never listen to him,” Bernadette immediately offered. “If he’s gonna tell me something important, I know he’ll tell me again. So I don’t listen. Because he never stops talking.”
“We’re old-fashioned married, for life,” John added. … “We still don’t agree on anything. I want my say but I have to admit … these darn women, they seem to know the right thing. So I like to have my say but I have to admit, she was right.”
Perhaps that, right there, is the best advice for a long marriage.
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(posted 9/7/2024)
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Congrats,to the Steblers. We just celebrated 60 years on August 29. We were High School sweet hearts and married at 20 years old. We have been blessed with a wonderful family, and great neighbors in our Webster home for 57 years!
Congratulations!
Missy,This was just touchingly beautiful.John’s is absolutely right when he states th
Oh, thank you! Only half your comment came through but I appreciated it anyway 🙂