Bygone Blog: Cats in Collusion

29 Jul

This is the third in my series of Bygone Blogs, in which I am re-posting some of my favorite blogs from the last 8 years. This one was originally published on February 2, 2009. 

scheming cats

(Not actually my cats but they look like the ones I had. This photo courtesy weruletheinternet.com)

Yesterday I found myself standing in K-Mart, staring at a selection of kitchen trash cans, analyzing their various features, while simultaneously trying to estimate my cats’ intelligence.

Let me explain. My cats — to be honest, I think the older one is the ringleader — have become very adept at knocking our kitchen trash can over in the middle of the night and having a feast. It’s the only time they actually get along, so the camaraderie they show in this endeavor is touching. However, that being said, we got very tired of cleaning up trash every morning. So we started chocking the trash can against the wall at night so they couldn’t tip it.

They figured out how to open the swinging lid and fish things out from above.

Which brings me back to K-mart, the kitchen can aisle and my cat-IQ calculations. It was more complicated than you think. One can, for example, had a “quick-release” lid on the front which only had to be lightly touched and the lid would spring up. I was convinced they’d figure that out, either by accident or by design. Another had a foot-pedal mechanism which would have befuddled them, but it wasn’t big enough for our needs.

I finally decided on one with a latch on the side. I figured the cats would have to stand on top of the lid to press it, and their weight would ultimately keep the lid in place.

Believe it. These thoughts actually went through my head.

So I brought that one home and it now sits in our kitchen, where I debriefed my family on the whole trash can-purchasing, cat-IQ thought process. Someone wondered if, when the cat stood on the lid and pressed the latch, the lid might propel the feline into the opposite wall like a kitty projectile.

I do believe they failed to appreciate my efforts.

* * *

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