And now for something completely different…

8 Nov

I don’t often pay much attention to the various jokes or YouTube videos that are forwarded to me from my email contacts.  Most of the time I delete them without even opening them.  So it is VERY unusual for me to not only read one of them, but consider it so on the mark that I want to actually share it with my friends.

In this case, that means all of you. Given the median age of my readers (I don’t actually know what that figure is, but suspect the majority of you will not be shopping for prom dresses this spring), I thought you might enjoy the following, which my brother emailed me a few days ago. If you’re anything like me, as you read along, you’ll be saying, “Yup. Right. Uh huh.”


1) Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2) Nothing feels worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3) I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4) There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5) How the **** are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6) Was learning cursive really necessary?

7) Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8 ) Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9) I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.

10) Bad decisions make good stories.

11) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12) Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13) I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14) I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15) I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17) I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

18) How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

19) I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

20) Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

21) Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

And I would like to add just one more, if I may. When you’re over 50 years old, and you type the number 8 followed by a parenthesis, you MEAN to type a number 8 followed by a parenthesis. You do NOT mean to type a smiley face with sunglasses. 8)



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